Josyah Emmanuel Rodriguez

I will like to thanks everyone for lighting candles and tribute on my son's memorial.. i will also will like for everyone to excuse me for not lighting candles. I am still not so well from his lost..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``~~
Josyah Emmanuel Rodriguez came to us in silence on his 23rd week gestation. My little angel you came to us in silence before your time was due only God knows how much we miss you. With only 23 weeks of life you left footprints in our hearts for ever. Daddy ,mommy, brothers an sister, miss you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to everyone for your time to see my memorial for my son and for the candles and tribute.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An angel wrote in the Book of Life
My baby's date of birth
Then whispered as she closed the book
"Too beautiful for Earth"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted. Mathew 5:4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I would star by saying that sometime before thanksgiving 2007 i went to the pharmacy with my dentist ( I'm a dental Assistant) to buy a pregnancy test. I was so excited that I couldn't wait until i got home it was around 10 0'clock am. so i went to the nearest restroom and do my pregnancy test. I was so exciting those 2 min seem to long . when I looked and it was positive I was so happy. I called my husband and told him over the phone I couldn't wait to get home to tell him. that we were expecting.

then January 11 2008 I went to my first ultrasound with my husband I was only 12wks and the technician calls my name and i ask can my husband come in she said" no when I'm done I'll call him so inside she said i don't know why they send you you the baby is too small. then when she finish i ask can my husband come in she said no the baby is too small is nothing excited to see.
so me and my husband walk out so mad. on top of that she didn't even give a picture of my baby.

march 11 i went to my second ultrasound so happy to go hear my baby's heart- beat I tell the technician plz tell me is a girl she said mami i can't tell you that if i don't see that LOL LOL. Then she tells me mami is a boy I was happy still my baby was healthy at least that's what she said.

on march 23 Easter we were all happy taking picture of my Josyah in my womb I made Easter basket for my kids , my nieces , and friends it was a happy day my Josyah moving kicking me telling me I'm here mom. next morninglike every mornings i ate breakfast i loved it because he always used to kick like saying thanks mom for my breakfast . I came home from work and he was kicking desperately( i want to think that he was happy and not in pain ) I told my husbans baby look feel him he is kicking like never before. my husband couldn't feel anything not one kicked.

we decide to go to bed and watch the movie mask with cher.( where she has a son with a birth defect). well almost at the end of the movie i felt a weird kick i didn't like it. when the movie finished that her son die i cry like it was my own son. even my husband said to me. " i never ever seen you cried for a movie like that before ." I said it has to be hard when you loose a kid." little did i know that i was crying for my own son. 3/24/08 11:30 pm.

Yes weird kick that i felt was his good bye too me .The next day eating my breakfast i was so sad I knew something was wrong. but I had to go to work. I ate b/fast by myself my Josyah had left me at 11:30 the night before. while I was eating b/fast I was talking to him and he wouldn't answer ( he would not kicked like he used to. I would toch my womb and all i felt was a knot and bubbles. 3/25/08


when i got to the doctor i said to the nurse my baby is no moving she OH my God we need to triage you in the room why you waited so long to come . Then she ask how many weeks are you i said 23wks . she ask my last pd and then she checked and tells me no you are only 21 wks you might not even feel him if he moves. i said listen i know my body i know my baby and i know something is wrong. she said to me well let me see if i should keep you here or send you to ER. In the ER they treat patient up 21 wks. when they decided to keep me up stairs. The intern goes in and ask what we got here. The nurse said 21 wks that doesn't feel fetal movement they all started to laugh.
I got up and left the room and I told the nurse listen I don't see anything funny if you think my baby is too little to be moving I'll go to another hospital. she calm me down and finally they did the sonogram. when i saw different doctors coming in and out i started crying. she then said i don't see fetal heartbeat but I want to send you to the ultrasound tech. so can read anything better. when they did the second one the world finished falling on me when she said I don't know what happen but he is dead. no heartbeat. I'm so sorry . i couldn't believe that it was happening to me. they send me upstairs to labor and delivery back to the ob intern. 3/25/05 7:51pm

you have to have and induce labor but it doesn't has to be now. why don't you go home and come back when ever you feel ready for it. My daddy was there Thanks God for my Daddy. my husband my daddy and me decided that i wanted to do it right there and then. long night not one time i closed my eyes not one minute i stopped crying.
not one contraction either not at all the doctor came in to insert more pills to induce my labor but nothing happened. they even gave me benadryl to sleep but it did nothing. it was around 2 pm the gave something to put me to sleep boy did that thing work in less than a min. I was sedative i could hear everything until my contraction started. my baby came to me on 3/26/ 08 @ 3:51 pm he weighted 1lb 1ounce



the doctor did not bother to get ready to hold my baby's head she let him drop on the bed like he was no body. until i ask to hold my baby. i was all by myself in that room with the doctor and the nurse. she cut the umbilical cord so long that it reached his little feet. they gave me two picture that you can even see well. and the saddest thing is that this happened a day before my bday.

I held my Josyah for the next 4hrs. Thanks God that gave the opportunity to held him in my arms. on my bday before I left the hospital I ask to see him again . he was already blue and so small.
I couldn't sleep until i did the funeral arrangement to have him cremated that make me feel like he still with me some how. even thought I miss him everyday more and more.

You came to me in silence before your time was due , only God knows how i miss you. forever in my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Little Angel

I felt your presence there inside of me,
nestled soft and warm;
Sweet scent of baby's breath,
precious words left unadorned.

I saw your tiny heartbeat,
then I knew that you were fine;
A perfect baby we created,
one that would be mine.

Then that tragic day it came
there was nothing I could do,
Only wait and hope
for the precious life of you.

Yes in the beginning
your daddy was afraid;
Only he would love you unconditional
and never run away.

He loved you more this I do know,
as he cried for you that day,
When the doctor said that you were gone,
daddy wanted you to stay.

He would have held you close to him,
and see your perfect form,
A gift of daddy's love,
would have kept you safe and warm.

Only now you are an angel over me
beautiful and bare,
My heart would hurt if you cried for me
and mommy was not there.

Still we are together in my heart and memories,
You are still a part of my memory.

Rest gentle now 'sweet baby' there is no pain
you are never alone,
I know you are with the guiding angels
in you peaceful home.

I will come with you someday
only now is not my time,
Then we will be together again
again you will be mine.

(c) 1998 Rhonda All Rights Reserved